Sh*! is Getting Real:

Note to self: calling something a "cake walk" is just asking for trouble.

I'm just about a full week out, and while I'm healing beautifully, I am incredibly frustrated. First, on the outside I am just about back to normal. The glue has come off 5 of my seven surgical sites, and I'm moving around just fine. My parents went home to Tennessee on Saturday morning, and I was even able to go out for a pedicure with a friend that afternoon. However, my inside is obviously not as far along in the healing process as my outside. I can still feel every ounce of food or liquid that I take in, and my chest aches with every. single. swallow.

Now for the part of the entry where Holly makes all the wrong decisions: I got a bit big for my britches on Saturday afternoon when I got home. I had choked down a protein shake that morning, and was doing great with my fluid intake. I'd even managed to take most of my supplements for the day, so I got ahead of myself. I had some potato soup in the cabinet that looked delicious, and without fully thinking it through I popped it open and heated it up. Now looking back, this was a terrible decision and just about the worst food I could have picked. White potatoes in a thick cream sauce? I deserved to pay for that poor judgement. But it was RIGHT THERE, and contained BACON, and I had had nothing solid in almost 6 days.  I obviously wasn't thinking clearly.

It started out fine, and I felt sure things were going to be just great until about half way in. I dropped my spoon, felt my heart start to race, and broke out in a sweat. I immediately reached for some water and made my way to the bed where I immediately called my mom. Bless her heart, she talked me through the whole ordeal and didn't even laugh once. We decided that no, the choice of a pure starch first meal was not the smartest, and that I'd probably been so excited that I ate way too fast. In my defense, I  thought that I'd surely feel when I needed to stop, but I have to learn my own body's signs and that's taking me some time.

I actually spent the rest of Saturday in bed, and didn't feel quite "okay" until Sunday afternoon, wherein of course I decided to make another questionable choice. Dang-it  you guys, I'm so over liquids, and if you mention another protein shake to me I may just throw it at your head. I'm so hungry! Well, that's not true, I just miss food. Anyways, I tried to eat a scrambled egg on Sunday, and naturally, that didn't go well either. I got about three bites down and my stomach abruptly said "NO!". I listened this time, even though that was a great egg. Maybe the best I'd ever had. The after effects weren't as bad as the day before, but my stomach definitely ached for the next few hours, and I went back to bed. I can't keep going through this silly cycle, so I'm just going to suck it up and stick to water/broth/shakes until my first post-op appointment at least. That's scheduled for Wednesday morning, so it's not too long to wait, and I'm not getting my hopes up. If I'm still having this much trouble with anything solid, he'll most likely keep me on liquids for a while longer. Fine.

Have you guys seen that new fried fish sandwich from Wendy's? I'd like that in my mouth immediately. Sigh. Yes, my actual surgery was "cake", but the rest of this is harder than I ever imagined it would be. The good news is I'm heading back to work tomorrow. Thank goodness! I hope that these phantom cravings will subside or at least pretend to be under control while my mind is focused on other things. My goal is to make it a full day, but I may be looking at half-days at first. We shall see!

Days since Surgery: 6
Current Weight: 339
Total Pounds Lost: 11